


Cherry.

by perrienova



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: Angst, Ballet AU, Eventual Smut, F/F, So much angst, inspired by cherry by harry styles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23902171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perrienova/pseuds/perrienova
Summary: Jade and Perrie have broken up. Unfortunately for them, the entirety of their dance company's newest ballet rests on their shoulders.DAILY UPDATES!
Relationships: Perrie Edwards/Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Perrie Edwards/Jade Thirlwall
Comments: 20
Kudos: 30





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first proper chaptered fic! I'm so excited! This is part of @lookuplaughing's Fine Line challenge.

Jade and Perrie had broken up. 

It was messy. The doors-slamming, mascara-running, fight-after-fight kind of messy. As Jade packed up her things in her and Perrie's, or rather just Perrie’s, apartment, ready to beg to crash on Leigh-Anne’s couch, she decided she was ready to never see Perrie again. 

The English National Ballet had a different opinion on that matter. 

“Jade,” Jesy, the ballet director, begged. “You have to put aside personal feelings right now.”

“Personal feelings? How the fuck am I supposed to do a pas de deux with her now?” Jade said. 

“Figure it out. You’re not throwing away being part of the first female pas de deux in the history of the English National Ballet because of this.”

“We aren’t a couple anymore, Jess.”

“Act! Act your hearts out, I don’t care. Suck it up and make it look real.” 

Jade groaned.

“If I don’t see both of you at rehearsals tomorrow, I’ll drive over and drag you there myself,” Jesy said. She hung up. 

Jade glared at her phone, fighting the compulsion to throw it out the window. 

“Jesy called you too?” 

That voice. That sweet, airy, gentle voice. Perrie leaned against the doorway to the bedroom where Jade was finishing packing. 

“She said to suck it up and make it look real,” Jade replied monotonously, not looking up from where she was placing clothes into a box. 

“Said the same to me,” Perrie said. “Almost done?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out of your hair soon,” Jade said. By the tone of her voice Perrie could tell the conversation was over, which just made her want to egg her on more. She figured that was too childish. 

“I’ll be in the living room,” Perrie said instead. 

Jade didn’t reply. Perrie turned around with a sigh. 

“Don’t fucking do that,” Jade shouted. 

“Oh, do what? What have I done now?” Perrie said, turning back on her heel to glare at her ex-girlfriend. 

“Fucking sighing at me like that, like I have no right to be short with you.” 

“I’m not having this conversation,” Perrie threw up her hands turning back around to leave. “You know what, no.” Perrie faced Jade again. “You don’t have any right to be short with me. You fucking broke up with me.”

“Because you hate being around me!” 

“God, how many times can I say -”

“It doesn’t matter what you say. We agreed we’re done. So we’re done. Now let me fucking pack, jesus christ.”

Perrie scoffed, finally turning and leaving down the hallway. 

Jade finished packing, staunchly ignoring Perrie each time she carried a box past her and down the stairs to her car. 

Jade arrived at Leigh-Anne’s place late that night after having another fight with Perrie before leaving. Frankly, she was exhausted. 

“Hey, babes,” Leigh said as she opened the door, pulling Jade into a hug. 

“Hi,” Jade hid her face in Leigh-Anne’s neck. 

All night, Leigh kept Jade distracted with movies and ice cream. Jade fell asleep as the credits of the third movie they had watched played on the TV. 

Jesy greeted Jade similarly to Leigh-Anne the next morning, pulling her into a sympathetic hug. 

“It’s just a few weeks, you can manage a few weeks,” Jesy whispered. 

She held Jade by the shoulders. “I need you two. Play nice at rehearsals for just a few weeks and act your asses off on stage. You can do it.” 

“Thanks, Jess,” Jade said. 

Just then, Perrie walked through the door.


	2. Two.

Jesy hugged her the same way she had hugged Jade. Jade was quick to move on to the dancefloor and start stretching, not needing to hear what pep talk Jesy had in store for Perrie. She took off her outer layer of clothing, leaving her in a leotard and tights, and sat on the floor, doing her standard warm ups. Perrie settled on the opposite side of the floor as her. She couldn’t physically be farther away. 

After warming up, Jade and Perrie couldn’t ignore each other any longer. They put on their pointe shoes, doing a couple warm ups before their pas de deux song played over the speakers in the room. Jade sighed, figuring they should get it over with. Perrie quirked an eyebrow at her sigh, smirking a bit. Jade hated her stupid smug face. 

During their dance, they were like strangers. Jade was stronger than Perrie, doing the heavy work in the lifts. She preferred to have her feet firmly on the ground. As the music ended and Jade and Perrie struck their ending pose, Jesy spoke out. 

“You two have never looked more awkward in your lives.”

A strong blush came over Jade’s cheeks. Perrie snorted, earning a glare from Jade. 

“You have to pretend you’re still in love, come on. You didn’t even try,” Jesy said. 

“She moved out yesterday, Jess, let us have a day to be awkward,” Perrie laughed as she spoke. 

“It’s not funny,” Jade said. “I don’t even want to be in the same room as you right now, let alone dancing with you.”

“I have so much faith in your lifts now, thanks,” Perrie said. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Good,” Jade couldn’t help but want to have the last word. 

“Good!” Perrie said. Jade felt like she was mocking her. 

“On that note, run it again,” Jesy yelled out as she turned on the music. 

That day, they ran the pas de deux dozens of times, and through it all Jade swore she hated Perrie. She hated how gracefully she would come down from a lift, how a few tendrils of hair had fallen loose from her bun to angelically frame her face, how every time she went en pointe, she looked positively statuesque. Jade hated it. And she hated that Perrie wasn’t hers.


	3. Three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update today because this is a short chapter!

Jade left rehearsal feeling as though it couldn’t possibly have gone worse. Jesy was right, they were stiff and awkward together now. She couldn’t figure out how she was supposed to act like she was in love when she hated Perrie, and Perrie obviously hated her. 

“I keep fucking up simple shit because she’s so distracting,” Jade ranted to Leigh-Anne that night. “She just, like, smirks at me like she can tell I’m trying to pretend she’s a different person.”

“Maybe pretending Perrie’s not Perrie isn’t the way to go,” Leigh said. 

“How else am I supposed to pretend I’m still in love with her?” Jade asked rhetorically. Leigh answered her anyway. 

“Pretend she’s your Perrie instead. Emotionally go back in time a couple months.”

“Easier fucking said than done.” 

“Watch your mouth around the kids,” Leigh-Anne said. Jade stared at the dogs Leigh was referring to.

“She hates me,” Jade stated. 

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“I dumped her.”

“It was a mutual dumping, babes. You said you both thought it was for the best.”

“We did but I initiated it,” Jade pointed out. 

Leigh-Anne huffed. “That just means you had more balls.” 

“What am I gonna do,” Jade groaned, burying her head in her hands. Leigh wrapped her up in a hug and idly rubbed circles on her back. “Everything is riding on this. My career, the future of the company...Perrie’s career.” 

“You’re worrying about Perrie’s career right now?” Leigh asked. 

“I don’t want to destroy her future because I can’t get over her!”

“You said you hated her.”

“I do hate her. ‘Cause she hates me,” Jade said. 

“That’s the dumbest logic ever,” Leigh held Jade’s face in her hands, tilting her head up to make eye contact. “You know what would make it less awkward?”

“What,” Jade said flatly. 

“Apologizing.”

“No way, I can’t.”

“Swallow your pride and tell her you’re sorry and then poof, awkwardness is gone.”

“That is not how it works.” Jade pulled her head away from Leigh’s hands. 

“Well then, I don’t know what to tell you,” Leigh shrugged. “What’s your plan?”

“I don’t have a plan,” Jade said. “I just need things to be less awkward and apologizing will definitely make it more awkward.”

“You’re a dumbass,” Leigh said. 

“Fuck off, I’m grieving.”

Leigh snorted. “You’ll figure it out.”

“I hope so.”


	4. Four.

Jade went to rehearsal the next morning feeling even worse about it than the day before. She couldn’t face Perrie today. She knew she had to though, and it was making her feel like she was going to throw up. Today was ensemble rehearsal though, so at least Jade didn’t have to worry about the pas de deux. 

So she thought. 

“Before we start, I want to see the pas de deux one more time,” Jesy said. 

Jade was screaming internally. Perrie wore her royal blue leotard today, the one that brought out her eyes. Jade felt as though she couldn’t be more distracted. 

‘Just don’t drop her, just don’t drop her,’ Jade thought as they ran the number. 

Perrie didn’t say a word to her when they finished. Jesy tsked at them. 

“Work on that chemistry, guys. Make me believe it.” 

Jade’s face burned but Perrie didn’t react to it at all. Was Perrie ignoring her? She wouldn’t, she’s not the ignoring type, right? But Jade knew how upset she must be so maybe she was ignoring her. Jade shook the thoughts out of her head. Now was not the time. Now was the time for ensemble rehearsal and not thinking even a little bit about Perrie. Definitely not thinking about the way her fingers stretched out to the sky during warm ups and how those fingers felt caressing her, how they felt inside her…. 

“Jade!” Jesy said. 

Perrie was staring at her. 

“What?” Jade asked. 

“I asked if you were ready to run it again. Just one more time.”

Jade nodded, gulping. 

Jade and Perrie did the number again, but Jade was completely lost in her head. What was she thinking? Why is she still thinking about Perrie like that? Jade hated her. And she hated Jade. 

“Earth to Jade,” Jesy said. The dance was over. “That was worse than the first time.”

“I’m sorry, Jess, I’m not feeling great today,” Jade said. It was true, she still felt a bit sick every time she looked at Perrie. That hot, guilty sort of sick like she knew she had fucked up. 

Had she fucked everything up?


	5. Five.

Ensemble rehearsal went far better than the pas de deux rehearsal. Jade could focus on something other than Perrie when they were dancing in a group. Even when she had to dance with Perrie during ensemble rehearsal, Jade felt like it was less awkward than when they were by themselves. According to Jesy, it looked less awkward too. 

“Do that, but in the pas de deux,” Jesy said, gesturing at the way Perrie had embraced Jade into their ending pose in one of the group numbers. Before Jesy had even finished her sentence, Perrie had let go of Jade and taken a step back. 

“That’s up to her,” Perrie said, speaking for the first time all day. 

“The fuck does that mean?” Jade asked, turning to Perrie. 

“Nothing, jesus,” Perrie muttered, shaking her head. 

Jade huffed. 

“Oh, my god guys, just run the fucking dance again,” Jesy said, turning on the music. 

What had Perrie meant? That Jade was the one making things awkward? Jade felt a wave of competitiveness wash over her. Perrie wasn’t going to outperform her. At the end of rehearsal, Jade grabbed Perrie’s arm. 

“Can we run the pas de deux a few times,” Jade asked, hoping she didn’t sound as desperate as she felt. She had to prove that it wasn’t her making things weird. 

“Fine,” Perrie said. 

“Great,” Jesy chimed in, playing the music as Jade and Perrie got into position. 

Jade thought about Leigh-Anne’s advice, to go back a few months before all the fighting started. Before the breakup. A memory immediately came to mind. 

It was at their friend Harry’s twenty-sixth birthday party back in February. Jade had gone to the bathroom, and when she came back, she couldn’t find Perrie anywhere. When Jade did find her, it was like a scene from a movie. There was this red lighting in the bar that danced on Perrie’s skin and hair, making her glow. Her fingers were wrapped around a glass, her head tilted back in a laugh at something Harry had said. The moment lasted both a split second and an eternity. Jade swore she could listen to that laugh for the rest of her life. 

The music came to an end. 

“Where the hell was that hiding,” Jesy asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. 

Jade and Perrie were both panting, holding their ending pose. They were making eye contact for the first time since their fight yesterday. The edge of Perrie’s mouth curled up in a smile and she winked at Jade. 

Wait, she winked at Jade?


	6. Six.

‘What the fuck?’ Jade thought. Why would Perrie wink at her. Was she making fun of her? Was there a joke Jade was missing? As Jade walked back to Leigh-Anne’s house, she was terribly lost in thought. She didn’t notice Perrie walking up beside her. When Perrie grabbed her upper arm to stop her, Jade jumped. 

“God, don’t scare me like that,” Jade said, pulling her arm out of Perrie’s grasp. 

“We need to talk,” Perrie said that ever so familiar phrase. 

“Do we?” 

“Yes. And you know it too,” Perrie stated. Perrie started walking in the direction Jade had been going, so Jade followed along with her. 

“I don’t know what you did to change the way you performed today but I was able to feed off of that. Jess said it looked almost as good as before,” Perrie was saying. 

“That’s good then,” Jade replied. 

“Almost is not enough. It needs to be perfect.”

Jade was wondering what her point was but didn’t really want to ask. 

“I say we call a truce,” Perrie said. 

Jade raised her eyebrow. “A truce.”

“A truce,” repeated Perrie. 

“What would this truce entail?” Jade asked. 

“We do whatever we need to to make this dance absolutely fucking spectacular, that’s what.”

Jade hummed thoughtfully. She honestly couldn’t believe Perrie was the one calling a truce. 

“Alright then, truce it is,” Jade said.


	7. Seven.

“A truce?” Leigh-Anne asked. 

“Yeah, that’s what she said,” Jade replied, taking another shot. 

Jade and Leigh-Anne were sitting at the bar of one of their favorite clubs, Leigh insisting it would take Jade’s mind off of everything. Undeniably, Jade felt better hammered. 

“I just can’t believe this is where we’re at. A stupid fucking truce with my stupid fucking ex girlfriend.” The words ‘ex girlfriend’ tasted bitter in her mouth. Jade washed it away with one more shot. “Her stupid beautiful fucking body and stupid face and stupid eyes that just look into my fucking soul.” 

“You know what you need?” Leigh-Anne said. 

“What?”

“Mind-blowing rebound sex. Find a hot girl, chat her up, go back to her place.”

Jade couldn’t say it sounded like a bad idea. She took one last shot, gulped down some water, and set off to the dancefloor. It wasn’t like there was a lack of hot girls to choose from, but Jade moved from dance partner to dance partner through several songs without finding someone she wanted to go home with. 

Jade found herself on the patio where several people were smoking, drinking, and talking. Sighing, Jade slumped down into a chair at a table that apparently already had someone sitting at it. 

“Jade?” 

And of course. Fucking Perrie. There she sat, a half-empty drink in front of her on the table, a cigarette between her fingers.

“I didn’t see you, I’ll move,” Jade mumbled, standing up. Perrie reached across the table, pulling Jade down by the wrist back into her chair. “What are you doing here?” Jade asked. 

“I’m guessing the same thing as you,” Perrie said, taking a drag from her cigarette. She blew the smoke in Jade’s direction. Perrie’s smoking was something they always fought about, Jade always saying that she couldn’t have a career as a ballerina if she couldn’t breathe. 

“You looking for a quick fuck too, huh?” Jade said. 

Perrie took a sip of her drink, another drag of her cigarette, before speaking. “Something like that.” 

Jade couldn’t take it anymore. She was drunk, she was lonely, and she fucking missed Perrie. As Perrie took another drag, Jade reached over the table and grabbed a hold of Perrie’s shirt. She yanked Perrie towards her, pushing their lips together. Perrie let the smoke flow into Jade’s mouth, Jade breathing it in. 

It tasted like Perrie.


	8. Eight.

The door of Perrie’s - formerly Jade and Perrie’s - apartment slammed shut, Perrie shoving Jade up against it. The kiss was messy, teeth and tongue and spit and it was all but perfect. Jade moaned, wrapping her fingers in Perrie’s hair. She tugged at it, and Perrie let out a moan. She knew how to press Perrie’s buttons in the exact right way. 

“I hate you,” Perrie mumbled against Jade’s lips, fingers working on the button of Jade’s jeans. Perrie pulled them down and off along with her underwear, leaving Jade in just her top. 

“God, I fucking hate you too,” Jade said, throwing her head back as Perrie started sucking a love bite on her neck. 

Perrie’s hand slipped between Jade’s thighs, teasing her. She knelt down in front of Jade, diving between Jade’s legs. She ate her out the way she knew would drive Jade crazy, grasping Jade’s thighs tightly, holding them in place. Jade’s legs reflexively squeezed around Perrie’s head as her hands grabbed uselessly at the door behind her for some purchase. As Jade came, Perrie doubled her efforts, letting Jade ride the high. 

Jade pulled Perrie up with a hand in her hair, pressing her lips against Perrie’s and tasting herself on her tongue. Jade’s hand slipped under the skirt of Perrie’s dress, sliding aside her panties and dipping two fingers into her. Perrie’s hand slammed against the wall by Jade’s head, holding herself up against the door. It didn’t take long for Perrie to reach her climax. 

They were each half dressed, each panting, holding themselves up against the apartment door. Jade finally spoke.

“This is your idea of a truce?”


	9. Nine.

Jade awoke the next morning with a pounding headache. She pulled the gray covers over her head to block out the sun streaming through the window. Someone was shaking her. She shoved the covers back down to find Perrie standing above her, wearing just a pair of pajama shorts. 

"You should leave," Perrie said. 

Jade looked around, barely remembering how she ended up in Perrie's apartment. She remembered bits and pieces of what happened afterward, though. 

"Yeah, I should," Jade said lowly. Perrie turned and left the room, letting Jade get dressed. 

Jade let herself out, not seeing Perrie as she walked through the hall and living room to the door. She ordered an uber, sitting down on the curb in front of the apartment building. There were about a thousand texts from Leigh-Anne on her phone. Jade sighed, calling Leigh. 

"What the fuck, Jade," Leigh said upon answering. 

"Me and Perrie fucked last night," Jade said. 

"You're at Perrie's?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, but we fucked last night."

"I'm coming to get you."

"I have an uber coming," Jade assured her. 

"You're so stupid, oh my god."

Jade sighed again. "I know." 

"You said a truce, not getting back together."

"We aren't back together, she kicked me out. Literally kicked me to the curb, I'm sitting on the curb," Jade said. 

"God, what the fuck, Jade."

"I know, I know." 

Jade's uber drove up, and Jade got in the car. 

"Don't you think this might make things a tad more awkward?" Leigh asked. 

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet."

Leigh-Anne snorted. "Clearly." 

"I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

"Yeah." 

Jade hung up.


	10. Ten.

The next day, Jade arrived at rehearsal with low expectations. As she walked in, Perrie stared at her from where she was stretching on the floor. Perrie averted her eyes as soon as she noticed Jade staring back. 

It was just them and Jesy today, and it seemed Jesy could feel the tension in the air because she hardly said a word as Jade and Perrie warmed up. 

“Alright, get in position,” Jesy said eventually. 

Jade and Perrie did so, Jade unable to make eye contact with her. 

It was the absolutely worst performance they had ever done together. Jade fumbled picking Perrie up for the second lift, unable to lift her up all the way and putting her back down way too soon. They both kept messing up really simple things, and Jade was angry. At who, she didn’t know. Herself? Perrie? Both?

“Okay, that was a pile of shit,” Jesy said. 

“I know,” Jade said, burying her face in her hands. 

“What the hell happened now?” Jesy asked. “Something must have happened.”

Jade and Perrie were silent. 

“You know what? I’m gonna leave for five minutes and if you haven’t talked it out before then, I won’t be happy. We have three weeks left before opening night. You need to get your shit together.” Jesy left the room. 

They stood together awkwardly before speaking at the same time. 

“I just -” Perrie said. 

“I didn’t -” Jade said at the same time. 

“You go first,” Perrie said. 

“I didn’t mean to make things worse. I was drunk and stupid.” 

“I was gonna say the same thing. It was a mistake and we need to put it in the past.”

Jade was more than willing to forget last night had ever happened. “Back to our regularly scheduled truce?”

Perrie sighed, nodding. “Let’s run it without Jesy here, get into a groove for when she comes back.”

“Yeah,” Jade murmured.


	11. Eleven.

Jade remembered Perrie at their first ballet class together, when they first met. 

Perrie had come straight from a different class, so strands of hair had fallen out of her bun and framed her face so perfectly. Her face was bare of makeup, a sheen of sweat over her body. Her freckles stood out against her pale skin, her eyes so bright and focused. Her hands reached out with grace and strength, fingers soft yet stretched out towards the wall. The definition of her muscles was clear through her leotard and tights, and Jade had been fixated on her arms. Perrie was so determined to do everything right, she listened to everything the teacher said and took criticism beautifully. She was the most enchanting person Jade had ever encountered. 

Presently, Jade lifted Perrie in the air with ease, lost in her memories. She flowed through each movement unthinkingly, focus elsewhere. 

As they finished their pas de deux, Perrie grinned. “That was a lot better, I think.” 

“It felt better,” Jade said. And it had, letting herself fall into her memories seemed to be the key to actually performing well. 

“From what I saw, it definitely looked better. Do that again,” came Jesy’s voice from the doorway. 

Jesy played the music, and Jade let herself get lost in memories of Perrie again. The first time they spoke, their first date at some shithole diner on the other side of town, the first time they slept together, moving in together. In every memory, Jade was fixated on how perfect Perrie seemed to be. How supportive, how trustworthy, how talented. Jade barred the thoughts of the times she stopped feeling like Perrie really loved her from her brain. Perhaps Perrie loved her, but before long, she didn’t seem to like her very much. 

Jesy applauded Jade and Perrie as they finished. 

“Keep this the fuck up!” Jesy exclaimed, delighted.


	12. Twelve.

Tech Week arrived in a hurry, and suddenly there was no time for petty bitterness. It was strictly business. The English National Ballet moved from their studio to the auditorium where the ballet would be performed. It was twelve hour days, half-dress rehearsals, nonstop work. Jade was grateful that Tech Week gave her something more to focus on than just ‘Perrie Perrie Perrie’. 

Jade and Perrie were in several of the ensemble numbers together, as well as their pas de deux, so they were working constantly on the first day of Tech Week. They only got their first break as one of the soloists went up to rehearse her dance. They sat in the auditorium together, watching her up on the stage. Jade desperately wanted to say something but she didn’t know what there was to say anymore. 

“She’s not bad,” Perrie murmured. This was the first time they were seeing most of the solo performances. Perrie went on to critique some of her movements and poses, all very technical and down-to-business the way Perrie always was when it came to ballet. 

Jade found herself at a loss, unable to focus on the soloist as she got lost in Perrie’s words. Her voice still soothed her soul in the best and worst ways. Best because of the comfort it brought, worst because of the memories that came with it. Jade remembered their biggest fight. The Big One, as Leigh-Anne referred to it. When Jade felt like Perrie might have loved her, but didn’t particularly like her. Perrie insisted it was all in Jade’s head, that she was just being insecure, which had only set Jade off further. 

Jade found herself regretting the things she had said for the first time as she listened to Perrie. 

It soon came time for the pas de deux. 

Perrie and Jade took their starting positions, the music playing out in the auditorium. Jade lost herself in thought of hers and Perrie’s first kiss, when Perrie tasted like cigarettes and maraschino cherries and Jade became addicted. 

Jesy watched carefully from her stool in front of the theater chairs, eyes following every tiny movement of Jade and Perrie’s. As the music came to an end, Jesy stood up. 

“It could still be better,” Jesy said. 

Perrie spoke. “I think it’s me now.”

Jade raised an eyebrow. Perrie was never one to admit to a fault. 

“We’re gonna rehearse Sarah’s solo, you guys talk it out and figure out how you can make it perfect,” Jesy instructed. Jade nodded at her words. 

Jade and Perrie set off backstage. They found their way to an empty dressing room, an awkward silence hanging in the air as they sat down. 

“How did you get better?” Perrie asked. 

“Better at dancing with you?” Jade said. 

“Yeah.”

Jade hesitated to admit the truth. 

“It’s kind of silly, it was Leigh’s suggestion,” Jade said. 

“I don’t care if it’s silly, we need this to be perfect.”

“Well, she said to pretend you were still, like, my Perrie. To remember the good times, basically.” 

Perrie nodded. “Okay, I can try that.” 

Jade hesitated to speak again. “To be honest,” she said. “It makes it easier to dance with you but harder to talk to you.”


	13. Thirteen.

“Harder to talk to me?” Perrie sounded offended. 

“Well, yeah, like… I’m remembering times I was in love with you and then I turn around and you’re not… you’re a different person,” Jade said. 

Perrie scoffed, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms. “Need I remind you, you broke up with me, not the other way around.” 

“You said it was mutual,” Jade pointed out. 

“Maybe I just said that to make you feel better!” Perrie exclaimed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You said you felt like I didn’t like you, or like being around you. I guess to me that meant I was… doing something wrong. I didn’t want to make you feel bad about dumping me if that’s how I made you feel.” 

Jade knew how hard it was for Perrie to talk about feelings, to bare her soul like this. 

“I don’t know what to say,” Jade admitted. 

“Don’t say anything. Thanks for the strategy.”

Perrie stood up, walking out of the room with her head high. Once again, Jade was struck with the feeling that she had fucked up by breaking it off with Perrie. But even if Perrie hadn’t hated her before, she must now after Jade ‘dumped’ her. Knowing now that it wasn’t really mutual was fucking with Jade’s head. Jade shook her head as if to rid herself of those thoughts. Regardless of whether or not it was mutual, it happened, and it was over now. And there was nothing she could do to change it or fix it. 

Jade sulked out of the dressing room and snuck into the auditorium to watch Sarah run her solo a few times. As she watched Sarah, Leigh-Anne’s words popped into her head. “Mind-blowing rebound sex.” She had kind of screwed that up the first time, but she knew Sarah not only liked girls, but was also single. Sarah finished rehearsing her number and hopped down from the stage to sit in the theater seats. Jade moved from where she was sitting to sit next to Sarah. Jade leaned over to murmur in Sarah’s ear. 

“There’s an empty dressing room backstage. Wanna blow off some steam?” 

Sarah turned, smiling slyly at Jade. “Sure,” she said lowly. 

Jade left the dressing room half an hour later feeling that familiar hot guilt. She wasn’t even sure why she was feeling guilty, but it was like lead in her stomach. Jade thought about Leigh-Anne’s other suggestion, besides the mind-blowing rebound sex that absolutely didn’t work. To apologize to Perrie. Jade shook her head. She couldn’t do that. Perrie wouldn’t care anyway. Would she?


	14. Fourteen.

The first few days of Tech Week passed and it was time for dress rehearsals. Jade had made the empty dressing from before her little home, finding herself in there with Sarah a couple more times. Today, she opened the door to get into costume and found Perrie. Getting fucked. By one of the male dancers, Alex. Jade closed the door. 

Jade rushed to the bathroom, tears coming to her eyes. Why was she even crying? What was wrong with her? How could she feel jealous, jealous enough to cry, when she had been doing the same thing for days. She knew it was unfair, but as she braced herself on the sink and sobbed, she couldn’t help but feel betrayed. 

This was stupid, she was being stupid. 

Jade wiped her eyes, letting out one more sob before forcing herself to calm down. 

She can’t be a hypocrite. Jade’s been sleeping with Sarah and just because Perrie found someone new doesn’t change anything. But why did it hurt so bad? 

Oh, fuck. Jade still loved her. 

How had she not figured this out sooner, of course Jade still loved her. The fact that it took seeing her fucking someone else to make her realize it was weighing on Jade. She still loved her, and god, it hurt. 

Jade and Perrie rehearsed their pas de deux in costume that day. Jade’s mind was swimming in the thought of ‘I still love you’. Jesy said it looked good so Jade supposed that was okay. 

What was Jade supposed to do when she was the one who broke up with Perrie? She couldn’t bear the thought of her with another person, them being called ‘baby’ instead of her. She was so stupid, how could she do this to herself. 

She still loved her.


	15. Fifteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update today because this is a short chapter!

God, of course Jade still loved Perrie, she was such an idiot. It was a week later, three days before opening night of the ballet. Jade and Perrie had been nonstop working together. After an awkward conversation of Jade apologizing for walking in on her with Alex, the air had pretty much settled between the two dancers. Today, Jade finally mustered up the courage to tell Leigh-Anne. 

"Of course you still love her, you dumbass," Leigh said. It was to be expected, Leigh-Anne knew everything. 

"What do I do," Jade groaned, flopping down to lay dramatically on the couch. 

"Well, you either suppress your feelings like a little bitch or you tell her how you feel. Kiss and make up." 

"Suppressing my feelings like a bitch doesn't sound like a bad plan." 

"Forget I said that at all, you need to tell her. You fucked up, fix it."

"You're forgetting that she hates me."

"She doesn't fucking hate you," Leigh said. 

"For the billionth time, she does. I dumped her, of course she does. I've said this before." 

"It doesn't mean you're right," Leigh pointed out. "You have to talk to Perrie, girl. Tell her how you feel."

"I'll think about it," Jade mumbled, cuddling into her blankets on the couch and focusing on whatever trash reality tv show Leigh-Anne had turned on.


	16. Sixteen,

The night of the ballet had arrived. Jade had a pit in her stomach, the fear of messing up weighing on her like a ton of bricks. Her and Perrie had worked so hard together on the pas de deux, it had to be perfect. 

Jade realized what she had to do to finally make it perfect. 

“Hey, Perrie,” Jade jogged to catch up with Perrie backstage. 

Perrie turned to Jade smiling. “What’s up?”

“Can we talk?” The all-too-familiar phrase. 

Jade lead Perrie into the dressing room she had claimed as her own. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. No. Sort of?” Jade stammered. 

“Talk to me,” Perrie said. 

Jade took a deep breath, opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. 

“It’s really hard for me to say this,” Jade said finally. “You know how impossible it is for me to admit to mistakes.”

“I know,” Perrie laughed. 

“I made a mistake Perrie,” Jade said. “I - I’m… I’m still so in love with you. I don’t want you to be with anyone else, I don’t want to be with anyone else. You’re it for me. I love you.”

Jade didn’t know where this confidence to speak came from, but she was grateful she had it. 

Tears came to Perrie’s eyes. “God, baby, you’re it for me too. You broke my fucking heart but I never stopped loving you.” 

Jade finally let out a sob. Perrie pulled her close into a deep hug. 

“I know I’ve had trouble showing affection and I know that’s one of the big reasons you decided to end things. But we can figure out the right balance together, please, together,” Perrie said. 

Jade nodded. “Together.” 

Perrie laughed, tears streaming down her face. She pulled Jade close to her, pressing her lips against Jade’s. 

That night, in front of hundreds of people, Jade and Perrie performed their pas de deux better than ever before. 

END.


End file.
